


Love Show

by silkysexyblacknumbers



Category: Once Upon a Time RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M, Real Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:11:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkysexyblacknumbers/pseuds/silkysexyblacknumbers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jennifer and Colin deal with the emotional and physical consequences of the secret nature of their relationship. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Show

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction. If you don't support real-life people shipping, don't read it and punch a wall to let go of your anger over those who do. Thank you.

Her heart skipped a beat before she knocked on the door of his trailer, as it usually happened. She wondered if her giddiness and slight nervousness every time she was around him would ever go away. After all, that’s what had always happened to her before: the thrill and excitement of the newness of a relationship incited in her all sorts of physiological responses when she came into contact with whoever she was in love with back then. But time can take its toll on a relationship and, after a while, she assumed her own body started getting used to the idea of being with that someone, calming down her heart and her nervous system. _This_ , however, was just different. They had now known each other for four years and been… _together_ for approximately two and yet she still behaved like a giggly and silly teenager around him, her heart wanting to burst out of her chest the moment his blue eyes met hers.  This man would be the end of her.

She waited a couple of minutes, praying to the Gods that no PA or other crew member saw her just standing there at the door of his trailer. They certainly didn’t need any more buzz going on about them. No one had actually been dumb enough to make any remarks about the nature of their relationship in front them, but she knew her and Colin’s poker faces weren’t always the best. More often than not, they caught some crew and cast members looking at them with intriguing looks on their faces, judging them for their likely inappropriate behavior. Luckily, they were surrounded by professional people who knew to mind their own business and no relevant rumors had actually come out. Bless whoever decided they would shoot the show in Vancouver because God knows they wouldn’t be as lucky were they in LA.

“He’s fucking sleeping again” Jennifer murmured, smirking to herself, still waiting for the door to open. When another minute had passed and there was still no response, she pulled out a key from her pocket and, quickly looking around to make sure no one was watching her, she opened the door to his trailer. He had this habit of falling asleep on the brown leather couch inside and, being the heavy sleeper that he was, he had given her a spare key for when his sleeping habits got in the way. That way she could still come in. And wake him up in creative ways. Sometimes the bastard would _pretend_ he was asleep so she would unleash her imagination and find dirty ways to bring him out of his sleep. The poor thing always thought he was successfully fooling her but she could tell all the time when he was actually sleeping or just pretending. Not that he needed to know that, of course.

She was already thinking about the _things_ she would do to him to wake him up, but as soon as she closed the door behind her, he was nowhere in sight. The trailer didn’t really smell like his cologne, as it always would even when he wasn’t around. The blinds were still down and there were no signs of his Hook clothes either. He definitely hadn’t even arrived yet.  She glanced at the clock on her wrist: 6:34. He should be here any minute now, she thought. Figuring there was no use in leaving, she walked past the tiny kitchen-like space in his trailer and, just when she was getting ready to sit on the couch, her foot hit something hard, making her stumble.

“Shit!” her growl was followed by a quick perusal of the floor. She wanted to see what the fuck she had just hit. Partly under the sofa, she spotted what looked like the corner of a book. She loved books more than anyone, but damn, could they be a pain in the ass at times. Or toe. Colin was never much of a heavy reader, though, so she wondered why there was suddenly a book seemingly lost on the floor of his trailer. She figured that whatever it was about, it had to be important to him. Sitting on the couch, she debated whether or not she should pick it up to see what it was about. Sure, he had given her a spare key, but she didn’t want to cross any lines and snoop through his things. Although, technically, she wouldn’t be snooping because she had just kicked the damn thing. And it was just a book anyway. And it was on the floor. If he didn’t want her to see it, it wouldn’t be _just_ there, right? Suddenly, she nervously laughed to herself, as she usually did to control her impending self-destructive thoughts. Her guilt was eating up at her so much that she was even considering picking a book from the fucking floor a transgression of some sort. Something she should feel ashamed of, something worthy of punishment for being such an awful human being. _You love him. He loves you._ , she said to herself, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, assuring herself that all she was doing was looking after herself and her happiness. Yes, he was married. Yes, she knew his wife. Yes, she fell like a shitty person, but what could she do? She loved the man and she had decided long ago that she would do whatever it took to be with him. She was tired of giving out her heart and getting burned, whether because the men in her life weren’t ready to move forward with her or because they just weren’t as invested in the relationship as she was. And, most of all, she was freaking tired of being cheated on. For once, she had a man not cheating on her but cheating _for_ her. In some weird, twisted way, that made her feel better about herself. She never wanted to hurt anyone – if she could have fallen for a single and fatherless man, she would have. But she didn’t. She had tried to fight it, _he_ had tried to fight it, they both had hurt themselves too much bottling up their unrelenting feelings. Until one day it became too much and they succumbed to it - sweat, moans, ecstasy and insatiated naked bodies against a hotel bedroom wall.

   “You’re breathtakingly beautiful”

                “More.”

                          “I’ve been wanting to do this ever since I met you”

                                   “Touch me.”

                                             “I’ve always imagined us like this”

                                                           “Colin!”

                                                                        “Again!”

                                                                                “And again and again and again”

Guilt for breakfast.

They hadn’t been able to stop ever since. Two years in a row constantly waking up and feeling that she was finally somebody’s reason to get out of bed. Finally, she had someone who was there for her whenever she needed him, whether her need was for him to go under the covers and bring her to the brink of pleasure or for him to hold her hand and hug her during the moments she felt like the world was eating her alive. Finally, she had someone that she instinctually trusted with her life. Someone she could never get tired of, someone she could think about spending the rest of her life with without panicking or having second thoughts. Someone whose babies she wanted to have. Perhaps a little girl just like her but with his baby blue eyes. Or a dark haired mommy’s boy with his father’s smirk. Or-

“Whoa.” Jennifer suddenly mumbled to herself, shaking her head. That had escalated quickly. She couldn’t lie to herself. Whenever she was with Evan, the most inexplicable and warmest sensation would invade her. Apart from the light brown hair, he looked just like Colin: a charming little boy with blue eyes and a goofy but endearing personality. Of course her mind wandered – what if he had been hers? He could have gotten the light brown hair from her. He could have been the perfect blending of the two of them. He could have had Morrison as his middle name. He could have been Ava’s best friend. He could have been her entire world. If he had been hers, she wouldn’t have to wait for special dates to give him the small interactive books he loved nor would she have to always explain to clueless people that she had a special place in her heart reserved to that kid “just because”.

“Damnit, stop!” Jennifer was about to slap herself. Lately, the thoughts of babies just kept coming up, more and more frequently. Maybe that whole biological clock bullshit was true and meeting the _one_ had intensified her wish to become a mother. She had to stop these thoughts the best she could, though, because having a baby was definitely not what she (or they) needed right now. She could imagine the _scandal_ it would be if she turned up pregnant and how everyone would try to guess who the father was. Some would probably laugh if she ever came clean and said that her married co-star was actually the father. Surprise! Yeah. Because that would go over well, for sure.

Sometimes it surprised her how the human brain managed to think about so many things at once in just a matter of seconds, something that certainly came in handy at times but could quickly become a spiral of negative thoughts and feelings as far as overanalyzing her current love life was concerned. Shaking those thoughts out of her head, she came back to reality, bending to pick the book up from the floor. The front cover was facing down and as soon as she turned it to read the title, she gasped.

“Marriage with Migraines: a comprehensive guide to be supportive when your spouse has migraines”, she read the title out loud, her words progressively dying down.

Jennifer felt her heart start pounding in her chest, her entire world about to collapse. It’s almost as if something inside of her was telling her not to pick the book up from the floor. Anger and disappointment suddenly took hold of her body. This was too much of a coincidence: _she_ had migraines too. Of fucking course. It shouldn’t surprise her, really. Freaking Helen kept trying to dress like she did, wearing very similar dresses she had worn in past events, among other items of clothing. And now this. There was just nothing she could have without Helen wanting it as well. She wouldn’t be surprised if one of these days she changed her name to Jennifer, too. But why the fuck hadn’t Colin told her about it? She could have taken it, really. All this secrecy was not necessary; she was well aware of the role she played in all of this. He could have been honest about it. Almost in a masochist fashion, she then recalled an incident that had happened three weeks before. They had been in one of their filming breaks, the entire cast waiting to be called when _she_ had called Colin asking him to buy more Tylenol on his way home for her “intense headaches”. Jennifer had been sitting next to him and had heard her shrilling voice through the phone. Now it made sense why _she_ had needed Tylenol so desperately.

The thought of Colin buying the damn book just so he could learn more about how to help _her_ through her crisis made her sick to the stomach. She was well aware that, technically, she didn’t have a right to be upset. She agreed to whatever this was knowing that he had a wife. He couldn’t just ignore her and pretend she didn’t exist, as attractive as that sounded for most of the time.

Jennifer tried to calm down, closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing. This changed nothing – they still wanted each other and maybe he had also had her in mind when he bought the book, too. She chuckled to herself, layers of anger and sarcasm filling her up. She even had to share a fucking book. What the fuck was she doing, really? She knew this wouldn’t end well for her and yet here she was, a slave to her own desires. It was like a drug – she loved this man and there was nothing that would change that. Nothing that would stop making her want him. Nothing that would make her leave. She just wished there was ONE fucking thing that was exclusive to her in this relationship. One. After setting the book back on the floor, she then got up from the couch and moved towards the door. This was exhausting and drained life out of her. Maybe it was a good thing that he was late, she would just go back to her own trailer, drink a cup of coffee and reread her lines once again. Right now, her career was the only stable thing about her life. She may as well treat it as she would a husband.

Just when she was about to reach for the door, someone opened it from the other side and his blue eyes widened in surprise as they landed on her. She was wearing that navy blue dress with a white collar that hugged her curves perfectly, driving him completely crazy. But then again, anything she would wear would turn him into a sexually hyperactive teenager, that much he couldn’t deny.

“Hmm… Good _morning_.” His voice was low and suggestive and she silently cursed. Her fucking body was betraying her again, quickly turning into a puddle of goo at the huskiness in his voice. She couldn’t do this, though. Not right now. She needed some time to accept what she had just seen and to let it get to a point where it didn’t bother her. As he leaned in to kiss her, she turned her face to the side, telling him without words that she wasn’t up to it. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the glint of hurt in his as he slowly pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” looking back at him, she just sighed and shook her head. They would talk about it later. Right now she just needed some time to herself before filming began.

“We should just get ready.” Luckily, he already knew her like the back of his hand and he could tell that she needed space. There was no use in insisting that she told him what was bothering her as that would only make it worse. One of the things he loved the most about her was how honest she always was – it could take her some time until she opened up to him about her feelings and concerns but she always ended up doing it, regardless of how hurtful it could be. He would just have to wait until she was comfortable to do it, even if it killed him knowing that, obviously, she had been there for a reason and that something must have happened for her to change her mind and to practically run away from him the second she saw him. He had to put her first, though, it was the least he could do. That’s why he let her walk past him and watched her leave the trailer without trying to stop her. Suddenly feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he let his head fall back until it hit the door with a thud. If only he could turn back time.

 

* * *

 

 

The trip on the golf cart was pure torture to Colin. In fact, he had no idea why he had even left his bed this morning if _this_ is what awaited him. Their sort of disagreement earlier had slowed him down when getting ready – he just couldn’t do things automatically and quickly when he kept thinking about what could have possibly left Jen in such a state. As so, by the time he had arrived (late) to the 8 seat golf cart, his usual seat next to Jen was already taken. Apparently Cinderella’s prince was back on set again and he certainly didn’t waste a chance to sit next to Jen. They had already introduced each other the day before (the guy was named Tim), but he certainly liked him better when he was nowhere near her. Reluctantly, he had no other choice than to sit behind them, having to listen to _Dim_ chatting her up and, even worse, making her laugh. So what that he was possessive? One of the highlights of his days was always the way he was the one who got her to laugh. He loved that he was the only one who managed to break through her serious and focused demeanor and helped her relax. So this bloody fool could actually make her laugh, but it just wasn’t the same thing. As much as she tried to deny it at times, he _knew_ her. Her laughter wasn’t soothing any of the tension she was feeling. It wasn’t relaxing her or calming her down. He wouldn’t feel threatened. No. Not at all.

“I remember how we kept messing that take when I open the door and see you.” The moment the words came out of Tim’s mouth, Colin felt his blood boil. Great. Now they were taking a trip down memory lane. Back to a time when he wasn’t even there to remember any of it. He tried to fight the jealousy bubbling inside of him but he couldn’t control the annoyed puff of air that left his nose. “We couldn’t even look at each other because we would just start laughing!” For fuck’s sake, can this damn fool just shut his gob already?

“So how long you stayin’, Tim?” if _Dim_ wouldn’t shut up, he would make him. He was blatantly interrupting their conversation but it was stronger than him. He always tried to control his jealousy because he knew how that (rightfully) pissed Jen off. He was in absolutely no position of getting jealous and he knew that, but the simple thought of another man being responsible for her happiness, fleeting or not, had his insides cringing. 

“Just a week.”

“Great!” As soon as the words left his mouth, his body went rigid. He had actually said that out loud. At his excited shout, Jen and Tim both turned back to look at him. Jen’s eyes widened and her eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, disbelief taking over her face. What the fuck was he doing? “I mean… Some actors have to go back and forth…” he started moving his hands a lot, trying to find an excuse that didn’t make him look like a rude idiot. “…just to shoot some scenes. It’s good that you’re here… for a full week. You can do it all at once. It’s not as tiring.” At that, Tim’s slightly offended expression disappeared, replaced by a smile. Using that as a reminder that he was letting his jealousy control him, Colin tried to control himself during the rest of the trip. After all, he certainly didn’t need any more drama between him and Jen.

 

* * *

 

 

Upon arriving on location (some sort of private farm with horses, all types of flowers and many, many trees), it didn’t really surprise him to see Jen acting as if nothing had happened. They had agreed long ago that they wouldn’t let whatever happened between them on a personal level affect their work and their portrayal of Hook and Emma. Although he had always kept his end of the agreement, Jen usually found it easier to put her personal feelings aside and to keep acting professionally around him. He could do it too, but for some reason the switch for him didn’t work as well. Maybe it was because he had never gone through this. He had never fallen in love with a co-worker before.

As the day went by, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. He just had never met such an amazing woman in his life. He loved how her forehead wrinkles became more pronounced whenever she retracted herself from the crowd so she could reread her script once again and get in character for the following scene. He loved how her delicate fingers would gently tuck strands of her long blonde hair behind her ear whenever the wind decided to disturb her reading. He loved how sweet and down to earth she was every time a crew member approached her, her smile instantly reaching the depths of his heart and making it pound wildly in his chest. He loved the little pout that would grace her lips when she finished her Chai Latte, before pulling the cup almost vertically in the air, not wanting to miss a single drop. He loved how she would put on her sunglasses whenever someone she wasn’t too fond of approached her so that they couldn’t see her rolling her eyes. He did not love, however, how her nose would start twitching for no apparent reason, a possible side effect of the medication she was taking for her migraines. Colin immediately went to the cast tent, grabbing a bottle of fresh water from one of the portable fridges. Opening the small, plastic cabinets, he then found a first-aid kit and took out a couple of gauze pads. Spotting her on the wooden bench just beside a fountain, he carefully approached her. One of her hands was now covering her eyes, the other massaging her left temple.

“How are you feeling?” his voice broke her out of her thoughts. When she opened her eyes, he was squatting in front of her, holding a bottle of water and some gauze pads. There was genuine concern in his eyes and she couldn’t help but smile. He always had that effect on her.

“So so. My head is throbbing.” He gently nodded at her answer and then his fretful expression was replaced by a shy smile.

“I believe this…” he said, opening the bottle and letting the water fall on the gauze pads, drenching them “may help”.

His hand got closer and closer to her face and she could tell he was about to wipe the wet gauze pad over her face in order to relieve her wooziness. As much as she wanted to revel in his touch and let him take care of her, she was aware of their busy surroundings. Letting him perform such an intimate gesture on her could raise suspicions so she slowly took the pad out of his hand, letting her fingers linger over his.

“Thank you”, she smiled at him while she started wiping the wet pad over her face, the freshness of it instantly soothing her.

“Ideally, you should have your hands and feet in warm water while putting something cold on your head”, he added as he got up and went to sit on the bench next to her. “The heat in the extremities pulls the blood from your head and relieves the headache.” As sweet and caring as he was trying to be, the detailed information he had just given her only served as a reminder that he had probably read all of that in the book that he had bought. To help _her_. All of a sudden, the crankiness of that morning came back full force and her only response to his comment was a hasty smile.

“Sadly, there’s nothing around here to put the hot water in and apparently nobody thinks it’s a good idea to carry a bag of frozen peas around” He smiled goofily at her on that last part, trying to cheer her up, earning him a chuckle in response. He was such a dork. Sometimes she wondered how the hell all of it worked on her like a charm. Every.single.time.

She was still annoyed, though. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask him if he had learnt about that in the book he had bought for his wife, but she wouldn’t start such conversation while they were working. Nothing good would come of it. As if someone was listening to her thoughts, one of the PAs approached the two of them, calling them for rehearsals.

Standing up and positioning himself in front of her, Colin offered her his hands to help her up, not being able to resist brushing his thumbs over the smooth skin of her hands when she acceded. They hadn’t been able to be together ever since Comic Con and he missed her dearly, longing for her. His desire for her was never ending. The more time went by, the more he wanted her. In many instances, he craved her touch so much that he couldn’t even wait until he got to see her again, relieving himself in the shower while picturing her naked body pressed against his, her erect nipples brushing against his hairy chest while her hand caressed his most sensitive flesh in the delicious way only she knew how to do.

Suddenly, he felt his body temperature rising and his cheeks flushing in response. Now was not the time to be thinking about any of _that_. He knew himself very well and how easily thoughts of her aroused him. He didn’t need that sort of humiliation in front of everyone, not today. Despite all of that, when she brushed past him on their way to rehearsal, his eyes couldn’t help but linger on her ass. Emma had been wearing a new pair of tight skinny jeans that hugged her ass flawlessly and made it irresistible. Thoughts of all the _things_ he wanted to do to her started invading his mind and, before he knew it, he felt his own leather pants become a little too tight. Bloody fuck. Not again.

“I’ll be right there.” he told Jen and the PA as he rushed through them towards the cast tent. He needed to be alone while he tried to conjure up all sorts of disgusting thoughts to calm himself down. Having to be around her the entire day _while_ wearing leather pants was going to be the death of him. He was 35 years old and yet here he was, awkwardly trying to hide his boner because Jennifer Marie Morrison and her perfect ass and her perfect everything drove him completely crazy and turned him into a teenager with raging hormones. Maybe he should just suggest getting a pair of baggy jeans or shorts for Captain Hook to wear from now on. Preferably with pockets.

 

* * *

 

 

Their return trip to Burnaby was a lot better than the outward trip in the morning. Colin had kept an eye on _Dim_ as they were approaching the golf cart and he didn’t even give him a chance to sit next to Jen, waiting to see where she was going to sit so he could instantly follow her. Turns out _Dim_ ended up going to the back of the cart. Serves him right. They were waiting for the other cast members to arrive when Rob, one of the PAs, approached them, holding Sophie’s hand, the 4-year-old little girl who played Alexandra.

“She wanted to see you” Rob told Jen and her eyes instantly brightened. Colin knew they had been shooting together some days before and that the little girl had been pretty fond of Jen. Clearly, a smart girl.

“You did? Aww, c’mere!” Jen put the phone down on the vacant space of seat between her and Colin and quickly opened her arms for Sophie. With Rob’s help, the girl sat on Jen’s lap and her right small hand gripped the lapel of Jen’s black leather jacket. “Did you have fun today?” the little girl just nodded and smiled. He kept watching them over, focusing on how gentle and sweet Jen was with her. He knew from the way she acted with Evan that she was amazing with kids, something about her always drawing them to her. He knew without any doubt that she would be a wonderful mother, someday. He started feeling his heart beating at an unusual rate as he wondered what it would be like if they ever had a baby of their own. Perhaps a little girl with blonde hair and green eyes, just like her mother. For a moment, he forgot about everything else and just focused on Jen’s smile as she tried to tickle Sophie. She was so damn brilliant. And beautiful. And smart. And kind. And sexy. And… just bloody amazing. He loved her. He was _in love_ with her. He had tried to fight it at first, denial taking over him. He was married, he couldn’t possibly fall in love with somebody else. But life is tricky and here he was, absolutely and utterly gone for her, his heart having entirely been won by her.

The intensity of it all had just become unbearable and neither of them had any option left other than to surrender to their feelings and living in the present, cherishing every single moment they were together. There were days when his guilt would consume him completely, days when he couldn’t even look his wife in the eye, but even then he never allowed himself to regret any of it. Regretting it meant that he regretted her and that he would _never_ do. Meeting her and being with her was one of the best things that had ever happened to him – she gave him the final push he needed to become his real self, the person he always wanted to be, the person he _loved_ to be. She had shown him how what other people thought of him didn’t matter that much and that it would be absolutely miserable to just let strangers control the essence of your being.

Smiling to himself, he recalled some of her words from a couple of years ago. Back then their relationship was still entirely platonic, neither really wanting to admit their feelings, despite all the flirting and the lustful, stolen glances. Some of the cast had gone to a bar and, as usual, they ended up sitting together and talking the whole night, lost in their own little bubble. With a considerable amount of alcohol already in their system, they ended up having a philosophical talk about life. He had poured out his heart to her, admitting that his status as an introvert usually led him to be a people-pleaser and to do and say things he didn’t always mean, avoiding any type of confrontation. Jen was the total opposite. She often gave zero fucks about what people thought of her and she wasn’t afraid to voice her opinion, no matter how many people would disagree with her. She was simply blunt and honest and he had always admired that about her.

“If you keep trying to please everyone, you’ll keep attracting all sorts of people that don’t give a fuck about you. Not being afraid of being _you_ is the best screening process. Be true to yourself.” She had said, taking a sip of her beer, his eyes darkening as he watched her gulp the liquid down. “You’re already awesome, anyway.”

He had never forgotten those words, using them as motivation to slowly let go of his own insecurities. He had followed her advice, especially the “be true to yourself” part. He was being true to himself when he decided to throw all caution to the wind and kissed her for the first time, catching her off guard. He was being true to himself when, just a week later, his fingers gently stroked her nub, wanting to make sure she was ready for him (she more than was). He was being true to himself when he pounded into her repeatedly, sucking her tongue into his mouth to keep her usually loud gasps away from his wife’s ears, just next door in a French hotel. He was being true to himself right now, looking at her and wishing that his life would just be easier. Wishing that he could have the pleasure of being the father of her future children. If he was going to hell for all of it, so be it.

It was Sophie’s curious stare at him that brought his wandering mind back to reality.

“Hi Sophie!” he said, gently scruffing her blonde hair. The girl kept looking very seriously at him and he was starting to wonder if he had something on his face.

“Is he your boyfriend?” her question was so genuine and spontaneous that they both froze on the spot, not really knowing what to say. It was only after some seconds of initial shock had passed that Jen finally started laughing.

“No, he’s not my boyfriend.” Her answer probably hurt more than it should. She was just being honest – they were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Everything they were went beyond any normal and acceptable relationship designation. It was yet another reminder of the secretive nature of their affair.

When the other cast members arrived and the cart was full, Jen sat Sophie on the seat between her and Colin for the trip back. It was easy to pretend that this is what a family trip could look like. He wondered if Evan would be jealous of having a step-sister. He was sure it would probably be hard on him at first, but eventually he would love to have a little sister.

By the time they arrived, Sophie’s parents were waiting for her in the parking lot and Colin watched as she said goodbye to Jen. Just as he turned away to go to his trailer, he felt a hand on his arm. He would recognize that touch anywhere.

“Can we talk… at my place?” she whispered that last part, making sure no one was around to hear her. “I don’t really want to do this here”.

“Of course.” He said as he nodded at her. He could hear the traces of vulnerability in her voice and suddenly he got nervous. As each day went by, he was becoming more and more paranoid that she would just get tired of it all and call it quits. He didn’t really know what he would do if she ever did that or, even worse, if she decided to get herself a boyfriend. He didn’t even want to think about it, his jaw twitching at the thought. They were done for the day so hopefully it wouldn’t be long until they finally had the chance to set things straight. “Meet you here in twenty?” He wouldn’t take that long getting ready, but he knew the same couldn’t be said about her so he played it safe. Twenty minutes should do.

Jen could feel how he had tensed up at her words. Knowing him as well as she did, he was probably already wondering if she was going to end things between them. And now his jaw was twitching. Yeah, he was definitely already thinking about the worst case scenario.

“I just want to clear something up, really” at that, he immediately sighed in relief before nodding in response. “In twenty then”.

 

* * *

 

 

They mostly kept silent during the ride to Jen’s place. Due to her migraines, she couldn’t really drive and he was always the one offering his services to drive her home from and to set. Thankfully, his SUV had tinted windows and no one could really see he was the one driving the car parking in her garage. There weren’t that many paparazzi in Vancouver and the few there were mostly cared about movie stars so sneaking into each other’s houses had never been a problem for them.

As they climbed up the stairs from the garage to the ground floor, Colin took in all the photos hanging on the wall. Every time he was there he couldn’t help but smile at the pictures featuring a young Jen. He was particularly fond of the one with a teenager Jen and her marching band, her right hand proudly holding her clarinet in the air. Her smile was still the same, big and radiant as usual, overshadowing everybody else in the picture.

The house smelled just like her, a subtle exotic mix of vanilla and orchids that never failed in driving him crazy. When they reached the living room, Ava came running from the upper floor to greet them. Luckily, Buckley wasn’t around this time, so he wouldn’t have to worry about his big dog accidentally scaring Ava with his overt curiosity.

“Do you want something to drink?” Jen asked him, as she put Ava back on the floor.

“Maybe later” right now, he wasn’t too interested in drinking anything. He just wanted to know what was going on in her mind, what she was feeling. Cutting the distance between them, he gripped her elbow, silently letting her know that he was there and that she could talk to him.

Jennifer suddenly gulped, his understanding eyes practically burning holes in her face. If they ever wanted this, whatever it was, to move forward, she couldn’t hold this in forever. In fact, she knew all too well that the longer she held it in, the more she would keep thinking about it over and over again and, eventually, that would turn her into a mess. Talking was key so she might as well nip it all right in the bud.

“This morning… I saw a book in your trailer. I wasn’t looking for it, it was on the floor and I just stumbled on it.” As soon as she stopped talking, she pushed her elbow away from his grasp. Realization hit him and his body tensed again. Damn it, she wasn’t supposed to have seen that. “I just don’t get it. You could have told me Helen has migraines, too. It’s not like I’m the only person in the world who suffers from it. I could have handled it.”

She watched as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, inquiring eyes scrutinizing her, as if he was waiting for her to say something more that would make him understand what the heck she was talking about.

“Wha- Helen has no migraines.” He stated, matter-of-factly and still not getting what her point was. It was only when no words came out of her mouth, disbelief stamped on her face, that he put two and two together and realized what was going on. “I bought the book to help _you_.”

She didn’t really know what to say, her mouth just opening, closing and then opening again, hoping that would somehow help her find something to say. She couldn’t believe she had been moody the entire day just because of a misunderstanding. Just the thought of even having to share a freaking book had triggered all sorts of doubts and insecurities in her. He had actually bought the book for her. She didn’t have to share it, it had been _just_ for her.

“I didn’t want you to see it because I wasn’t sure if you’d think I was crossing a line” he added, still not entirely sure if she would find him too overprotective.

She couldn’t control the bright smile that adorned her lips, all of her previous concerns fading away and giving place to an underwhelming blissful feeling. A mix of love, adoration, lust, desire, need.  No man had ever done such a beautiful thing for her before and she could feel her eyes beginning to water. He actually wanted to do his best to help her whenever she had one of her crisis, trying to downside the symptoms. Just as he had done this afternoon.

“I think it’s the sweetest and most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me” she was now standing in front of him, her hands gently caressing his cheeks and fingers sliding through his dark hair. Colin instantly grinned, arms encircling her waist and his own hands drawing circles on her back.

“I’m glad you don’t think it’s too much” silly, silly man, she thought to herself. Why would she ever think that was too much? Although, if she were being honest, it _was_ too much… Too much for her heart and panties to take it.

“It’s not. I love it.” He noticed how her entire mood changed in a question of seconds, her eyes now full of love and joy. “I overreacted.” He didn’t really understand why she had thought the book was for Helen, but he couldn’t blame her for assuming that. He knew that his marriage would always be the elephant in the room, the ghost haunting them and feeding off their insecurities.

“Why did you think it was for her?”

“Probably the ‘Marriage with Migraines’ part” she answered, emphasizing the word ‘marriage’. Looking back now, she knew it had been stupid of her to conclude that just from the title of the book. It’s not like there was a “Affair with Migraines: helping your lady friend who has migraines” version.

“It was the best I could find.” He wanted to say that she actually felt more like his wife than Helen did. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but they never came out. He wasn’t sure if that would scare her. He wasn’t sure if _he_ was ready to say it out loud and to deal with the consequences of it. Not yet. “And it’s the one recommended by Dr. Susan Hutchinson!” When she realized he had even been careful enough to go for a book approved by _her_ doctor, Colin watched her eyes darken, her arms going around his neck.

“Thank you.” she was hugging him now, her head resting in the crook of his neck, her warm breath on his skin making him shiver. He let his head rest against the top of her head, the sweet floral fragrance of her shampoo surrounding him.

“I want to help you. You don’t have to go through it-“ he really meant to finish the sentence, but suddenly her tongue was drawing all sorts of patterns on the column of his throat and it took him a while to remember what he had been saying. “- alone”, he finally let out once she stopped her ministrations, a questioning look on her face.

“Is that why you’re not wearing your cologne?” she was grinning at him, almost as if she already knew the answer to her question. He then looked at the floor, a hint of embarrassment on his features for having been exposed. “You read it could be a trigger, didn’t you?” she was finding all of this sooooo amusing, she couldn’t stop smiling at him. He was the most adorable man on the planet.

“Let’s just say I figured I wouldn’t give you any excuse to run away from me” the tone in his voice had changed, it was lower and husky. “I read it could cause dizziness. I didn’t want you to lose your true north.” he winked at her as his hands travelled down her back to cup her ass.

“It seems like your hands are struggling with that right now. They’re a bit south.” Her voice was barely a whisper now, the sexual tension filling up the room.

“Well… I _did_ always want to go to Ecuador.” He let his words linger, one eyebrow instantly rising as a smirk tugged on his lips.

“Oh my God…” she smiled while closing her eyes, her cheeks slightly turning pink when she realized what he had meant with _that_. “ _Colin_!” He widened his eyes and opened his mouth in response, faking shock.

“ _Jennifer_!” he mocked her, as he tightened his grip on her ass, digging his finger in a little more roughly.

“How indecent…” her voice was teasing and flirty, the tips of her fingers slowly caressing his back until she gripped his right butt cheek in return. He _had_ a great ass.

At that, he let out a loud growl. Her love for his butt did things to him and he couldn’t control the rush of desire coiling in his belly.  He needed her. Now. Always. His intense gaze landed on her, and she involuntarily flinched. Never taking his eyes off her, practically eating her with his stare, he slowly started pushing her backwards.

“Very…” one step. “Very…”  another step. “…indecent”, until her back finally hit one of the walls of her living room. Her heart was pounding unbelievably fast. He never failed to make her feel as if she were the only woman in the world. She felt a warmth spread within her cheeks at the way his eyes were passionately gazing at her, almost as if he was looking inside her soul. It just wasn’t possible to be this in love. Just as her eyes landed on his lips, he threw himself over her, not resisting her for even one more second. As he covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss, her right hand left his butt and gripped his neck as his hands kneaded her breasts. He was their number one fan and she was very aware of such fact. She would tease him whenever she had a chance, from dresses with an extreme cleavage (when she knew fully well he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it) to flashing him shortly before they left their trailers to go to filming. She wasn’t complaining, though. She did love his obsession with her breasts and a day wouldn’t go by that she didn’t catch him taking (what he thought was a subtle) peak at her boobs. His predictability would always leave her with a proud and satisfied grin on her lips. She loved the strong hold she had on him.

As he hungrily bit her bottom lip, she darted out her tongue to play with his, a breathless moan escaping her control when he started grinding into her, her core pulsing with excitement. He sucked her tongue into his mouth, caressing it with his own. She rolled her closed eyes and curled her toes, taking in the pleasure. She had no idea how it was possible for someone to have such a talented tongue. It was as if he always knew how to hit all the right places in the most orgasm-inducing ways. But two could play this game, she thought to herself as she smirked.

Pulling her tongue from his mouth, she forcefully but gently pulled at his hair, wrapping her fingers in his thick, dark strands. The gesture broke their lips apart, his lips moist and glistening with spittle. He tried going for her lips again, but she tightened the grip on his hair, a guttural growl echoing from him as he kneaded her breasts more forcefully in response. Never loosening her grip on him, she slowly approached her lips, teasingly dropping feather-light kisses over his trimmed beard and purposely avoiding his lips. She could feel the hot breath coming out of his nostrils, knowing very well how much he was trying to control himself not to tear her dress apart and just have his way with her already. When he was frustrated enough, she darted out her tongue and traced the outline of his lips, a relieved groan coming out of him as he quickly enveloped her tongue with his mouth, kissing her thoroughly. She could feel his hardness against her thigh and she didn’t resist touching him, slowly easing her hand down, roughly cupping him through his jeans. He moaned loudly, breaking the kiss and closing his eyes at the intensity of it all. He had been waiting for this moment for weeks, his own hand not enough to relieve the tension. Her lips then started leaving an upward trail on the side of his face until she reached his right ear.

“Down, boy.” She whispered and then, just as quick as it had started, he felt the loss of her hand and lips on him as she disentangled herself from him and started walking away, a mischievous smirk on her face. What the fuck?!

“Wh- What are-“ she tried her best not to laugh at the indignant look on his face, resembling a little kid whose lollipop has just been taken from him.

“Great things shall come to those who wait” she interrupted him, giving him a flirty look over her shoulder. She loved leaving him all hot and bothered, knowing fully well she would definitely make up for it later. Turning her body to him while she kept walking backwards towards the kitchen, she teasingly licked her lips, silently encouraging him to follow her. Not that he needed any encouragement, but she did like to be her flirty self. Biting his lips, he started walking towards her until he finally entered the kitchen.

“Look at what you did to me.” There was a glint in his eye as he opened his arms to her perusal and, lying against the counter, she took in his appearance: his hair completely disheveled, his shirt partially tucked out of his jeans and a really impressive bulge in the front of his jeans. It was then her turn to raise an eyebrow as she shrugged her shoulders and smiled. It wasn’t her fault that he found her so irresistible all the damn time.

“Speaking of, how did you fix your little problem this afternoon?” she casually asked him as she turned away to fill a glass of water. He was taken aback by her comment, not really sure of what she was talking about at first but then it hit him. She had seen his boner, great. It didn’t really surprise him, somehow she always managed to know whenever he had an erection around her. Although, to be fair, it wasn’t like he made her job difficult. Or scarce.

Taking advantage of the fact that she was with her back to him, Colin silently approached her, trapping her against the counter before she had a chance to escape his embrace.

“I think you mean my _big_ problem.” he grunted as he brushed his erection against her ass, the glass of water she was holding slipping out of her fingers and shattering to pieces on the kitchen sink. She could feel his roguish grin on her cheek, her breathing becoming erratic. “I tried not to think of you and it went away. As always.” His left hand gently took a hold of her hair and pushed it aside. “Only you can get me like this”, his lips brushed against the exposed skin of her neck and he made a point of grinding more firmly into her ass. Her body shivered against his, the double meaning in his words not going unnoticed by her. She was about to say something but the feel of his fingers cupping her through her dress stopped her entire thought process. Curling her fingers against the granite, she arched her body into his, craving for more pressure. He continued his ministrations on the back of her neck while her arm reached up to cup his head. Letting his fingers thread through her long blonde locks, he reveled in the feel of her silken strands in his much stronger hands. It was now his turn to gently pull at her hair, her head falling back and resting on his left shoulder, exposing the soft skin of her throat to his hungry eyes. He started stroking her through her dress and she had to fight to keep her balance, knees buckling and breath hitching. All of a sudden, wearing leggings today seemed like one of the most awful decisions in her life. As he increased the pace of his stroking finger, his other hand softly massaged her left breast, her nipple springing up through the layers of clothing, greedy for more. As if she weren’t already seeing stars, utterly gone for desire due to his very talented hands and fingers, he ran his tongue through her throat, lavishing with particular attention the soft spot he already knew drove her crazy.

“That’s so good…” she whimpered as pure bliss took over her. Whoever said men couldn’t multitask clearly didn’t know Colin O’Donoghue.

Upon feeling him desperately grinding into her to relieve some of the tension, she turned around, his hands quickly encircling around her waist as he claimed her mouth over and over. Pulling her lips away, she then kissed his neck, the taste of salt and sweat lingering on her tongue. Maintaining her ministrations on his neck, her hands travelled down to the front of his jeans and she slowly unbuckled his belt, his hands cupping her head and thumbs stroking her cheeks as she unbuttoned his jeans. She giggled when she realized she didn’t have to push down the zipper, his erection having already done so the moment she popped the button. He chuckled, a small tint of red on his cheeks. He hoped that one day his cock would stop embarrassing him for its never-ending impatience whenever he was with her. It was a good thing she seemed to _love_ every second of it.

The feel of her gifted tongue on his right ear lobe had him bite back a moan as her hands pushed the denim past his hips until the jeans fell on the kitchen floor tiles. Her mouth went back to his neck then, letting her tongue slowly run through his throat as her left hand gripped his ass and her right one gently stroked his bulge. He inhaled sharply when her lips started tracing a pattern down his shirt-covered chest, her teeth grazing his nipples before her mouth kept moving down until she kneeled on the floor in front of him. His heart almost stopped at the realization of what she was just about to do and the seductive look she was sending his way as she licked her lips didn’t help. Just when he was expecting to feel her pushing his underwear down, he felt her pressing small kisses all over the waistband of his black short boxer briefs. He clenched his jaw when her tongue seductively slipped inside the waistband of his underwear, her hungry eyes seeking his. Fucking minx. She was completely wild and he intended to enjoy it until the end of time. While her tongue continued its journey through the skin under the waistband of his briefs, her right hand unexpectedly cupped his balls, massaging them. He hissed at the sensation, taking a hold of her blonde locks to keep his balance. He was pretty sure he would kill her one of these days and he wasn’t even naked yet.

Keeping her right hand in place, her left one travelled up, fingers sneaking under his shirt and her nails raking up his hairy chest, the sweat wetting her fingertips. She had to be careful not to scratch him. Not that long ago, in a particularly wild quickie in her trailer, she had lost all control and ended up leaving very visible half-moon red marks and scratches on his back and chest. Not resisting any longer, she hooked her right fingers under the waistband of his briefs and frantically pulled them down, his hard flesh springing free. She had always heard about Irish guys being well-endowed and let’s just say that if the rumors were true, he certainly wasn’t an exception.

She felt him throbbing just before she started stroking him. Groaning loudly at the feeling, he tightened his grip on her hair, desperately needing to hold onto something. Locking her eyes with his, she dropped sweet kisses around his groin, his breathing becoming more erratic the closer she got to where he wanted her the most. Then, finally, lowering her mouth, she kissed his shaft, slowly taking him in while scraping her teeth over his sensitive skin. He was pretty sure that her neighbors had heard his uncontrolled, raucous groan and he gave absolutely no fuck. Not when she was taking him to heaven.

“You’re so fucking ohhh -“ he didn’t manage to finish because now she was withdrawing her mouth completely, only to take him almost fully in and he was sure he would lose all control if she didn’t stop soon “ _perfect_ at this”.

When she cupped his butt while her head continued bobbing up and down as she sucked him into delirium, he somehow found the strength to carefully pull on her hair, silently telling her that he wouldn’t last much longer. And he was nowhere near ready to end the night. Knowing exactly what he wanted, she released him with a pop, sinfully licking her lips as she looked at him with a pleased smile. With his eyes many shades darker than they were before and with an utterly primal desire taking over him, he kissed her now swollen lips, tasting himself on her tongue. Now was his turn to make her feel just as loved and wanted and he intended to make her feel just as fucking blissed as she had with him.

Never letting go of his lips, his arms went around her waist, lifting her into the kitchen counter. Her legs instantly parted for him, needing to feel his aching throb on her. He intended to take things slower but right now neither of them could wait much longer, so he tugged on her leggings and quickly pulled them down. Keeping his eyes on her the entire time, at each patch of skin exposed, he would drop a soft kiss on it, her body shivering under his touch. When he finished, her hands worked on the buttons of his shirt while he lazily kissed her neck and squeezed her breasts. As much as he loved her navy blue dress, he couldn’t wait to get rid of it, fumbling with the material. She chuckled at his impatience and when his shirt finally joined his jeans on the floor, she helped him in what seemed to be a life or death situation to him. Pulling the dress over her head, he growled when he saw she was wearing her front-close lacy black bra, one of her favorites. They were much easier to unclasp and her breasts would brilliantly come cascading out of it.

Resting his forehead against hers, his right hand travelled down her body and slipped under her matching black panties. She threw her head back in pleasure, encouraging him to not stop.

“Holy fuck” he purred as his fingers became drenched in her arousal. She would always get unbelievably wet for him and, somehow, he felt himself harden even more at how much she wanted him. Holding onto his shoulders, she pushed herself onto the edge of the counter and started stroking him, moaning at the feel of having him again in her hand. His left hand unclasped her bra and her full breasts came into his hungry view. He didn’t lose one second before his lips were on her right breast, kissing, tasting.

“Oh God” she purred, not really knowing how he was real. The stroke of his fingers on her center combined with the gentle bites of his teeth and languid licks on her nipple drove her to a state of madness. A really, _really_ good madness. He was about to sink to his knees when she stopped him.

“We’ll have time for that in round two. Now get _in_ here” the double meaning of her words had him laughing as he removed his fingers from her core and sensually stuck them in his mouth, moaning as he savored the taste, eyes mischievously teasing her. That did it for her and she threw her arms over him, pushing him closer to her as she hooked her legs around her waist. She silently thanked the Gods for the fact that her kitchen counter wasn’t too tall, allowing them to actually make this position work without worrying about falling with their asses on the ground while doing it (yes, it had happened before and it hadn’t been pleasant).

Gently stroking him one last time, she placed him at her entrance as she gave him a cheeky smile before he entered her. They both closed her eyes at the sensation, foreheads resting against each other, feeling their puffy breaths on their faces. He arched his back as he rhythmically trusted into her, eyes rolling back in absolute delirium. Her hands instantly reached for his back, nails digging into his skin as she bit his shoulder. His mouth encircled her right nipple, tongue laving the taut tip in sync with his thrusts, before he moved his mouth to suck on the mole he loved so much. Her right hand sank into his hair, the other clinging tightly to his shoulder as she brushed her lips over his. Now sucking on her tongue, he shifted the angle of his lips and incredibly new sensations hit them. He knew she was close and felt relieved because holy hell, he wouldn’t be able to last that much longer either.

“Let’s get… let’s get on top of the counter” her breathless plea had him lifting his head from her shoulder, a suddenly confused expression on his features.

“On top?”

“Yes!”

“Do we even fit in there?” he tried his best to keep thrusting into her, but she was already stepping out of the counter, carefully trying not to slip out of him.

“We better. I’ve always wanted to do it there” she then attacked his neck with open mouth kisses as if she hadn’t just made a random suggestion of moving their coupling to the top of the counter. It shouldn’t have surprised him, really. This woman was completely mad in all the good ways. He had no other reaction than to chuckle at her excitement over the possibility of finally fucking on top of the counter. In a mess of sloppy kisses and groping hands, they both jumped on the part of the counter with no cabinets on the wall, just a large window above the kitchen sink. The cold of the granite contrasted with their scorching hot naked skin as Colin leaned over her to enter her again, but her hand on his sweaty chest stopped him. Raising her eyebrows at him, she pushed him on his back, legs straggling him as he growled like a beast when he realized just what she had in mind. Bloody fuck, he loved her kinkiness. Kissing her way down his body while stroking him once again, she sank onto him, picking up where they’d left off just moments ago. He watched as she rode, his hands cupping her bouncing breasts and she threw her hand back in pleasure. He knew she was close and felt relieved because, holy hell, he wouldn’t be able to last that much longer either.

“Fuck yes” she cooed, shamelessly riding him into bliss. As her breathing became erratic, he felt himself losing all control and roughly pounded into her, needing her to come before he embarrassed himself. Reaching up to taste her lips, he kissed her, her mouth immediately sucking his tongue in before she suddenly dropped it, her moans turning into _loud_ wails of pleasure. She clenched her walls around him, digging her nails in his back. In that moment nothing mattered but him. Them. His body, his scent, his touch, his love, his everything. She loved this man with her whole heart and that only made her cry out his name even louder, her heart about to explode.

Watching her come undone was his own undoing and he shouted her name as he spilled himself inside of her, his own hands hugging her, pulling her body into his. Nothing would ever be close enough.

In the aftershock of their orgasms, they just kept hugging, their slick wet skin almost gluing them together, their heavy pants filling up the room.

“Wow.” He finally found the strength to say, feeling as if an elephant had just run him over.

“I know…”

“Was that how you imagined it would be like?” he was glad he had been the one fulfilling that fantasy of hers, but he hoped he hadn’t fall short.

“It was even better” she lifted her head from his shoulder to peck him on the lips. He smiled into the kiss before brushing his nose against hers. “I can’t feel my legs” she fake-pouted while chuckling.

“I don’t even know if I’m good to drive” he added as he dropped a kiss on her shoulder blade.

“Yeah, I guess it wasn’t bad…” they both stood there just smiling at each other, taking in what had happened. His nose brushed against hers and she caressed his bicep, never taking away her eyes from him. They didn’t really know what this was or where it would lead them. They knew that it was real and that they wanted it to last forever, no matter how difficult and emotionally exhausting it could be at times. They loved each other and there was nothing they could do to change it. It wasn’t easy, it would never be easy, but for now they would just do what they always did: they would think about it later and enjoy the moments when the world was just the two of them.


End file.
